Travel arrangements, settled on paper: who books what, and how far ahead

A journey has more moving parts than an evening, but fewer than most guests fear. There are four: the dates, her travel, her room, and the ground in between. Each is settled once, in the same written thread in which the trip was agreed, and none is reopened unless something changes.

Underneath sits the principle that governs every evening this house arranges. Her fee pays for her hours and her company, nothing besides, and Octavia states it as a single written figure. Everything else, the tickets, the rooms, the tables, is the host's to arrange, as a matter of ordinary hospitality.

You book her seat. Most hosts book it in the same cabin as their own, which keeps the journey shared. If the seats are to be in different cabins, say so when you describe the plan, so that she decides with the whole picture in front of her.

An airline wants her name spelled precisely as her passport spells it. Octavia sends that spelling once the plan is agreed, together with anything else the booking requires. Send her the confirmation in return and she passes the times and the booking reference to your companion. Nobody needs anyone's loyalty numbers.

Trains are simpler. For Paris, a Eurostar seat from St Pancras. For the country, a first class seat from Paddington, King's Cross or Waterloo, depending on which way the house party lies. Private flights keep rules of their own, set out in the notes on flying private.

On a journey of more than one night, a companion needs somewhere to dress, rest and keep her things. Most hosts reserve a suite with a separate sitting room, or two rooms that connect, under the host's own name. The hotel needs to know that two guests are staying, and little else. In several European countries hotels record every guest's passport at check-in, as the law there requires, and she will have hers in hand.

A country house weekend is the one exception worth planning for. Where rooms are allocated by the hosts of a house party rather than booked by you, mention it to Octavia early, so your companion knows how the house is arranged before she accepts.

Transfers are where good plans fray, so each deserves a line of its own.

A single evening can be arranged within the hour. A journey cannot, or not well. As a guide, a European weekend deserves at least a week's notice, and two weeks in high summer or December. Longer journeys, long-haul destinations and anything tied to a fixed date, a Grand Prix, a festival, a wedding, deserve a month if you have one. It is rarely the companion who runs out first. It is the rooms and the seats.

While you finalise flights, Octavia will pencil the dates in your companion's diary, and she confirms them as soon as the tickets are booked. A pencilled date is a courtesy, not a promise, so book promptly once the plan is agreed.

Flights are cancelled, meetings overrun, fog closes an airport. When it happens, write to Octavia before rebooking anything, so the new plan is checked against your companion's diary first. A slip of a day is usually easy. A change of destination is a new plan, and she decides afresh whether it suits her.

The terms for cancelling are those printed on the rates page, counted from the moment Octavia hears. On a journey, that makes the early message the kindest one you can send. If the house itself ever has to withdraw, nothing at all is owed, and you hear so at once.

Before anything is booked, Octavia sends a single message that sets out the whole arrangement: your companion's name, the dates, the destination, the travel as agreed and the figure in pounds. Nothing is fixed until you reply yes, and afterwards it is the reference point for everyone.

Your companion receives her fee from your hand at the outset of the journey. It never travels through an airline, a hotel or a travel agent, and no second figure appears later in the journey.

Karolina likes a plan made early and a host who makes one; send her an itinerary a fortnight out and she will have read up on every stop. She is one of our raven haired companions. Laura keeps her passport current and travels with one bag. Margo, calm and in her early thirties, knows the sale calendars of the great auction houses well enough to plan a trip around one. Journeys are described in full under the travel companion, and the first message goes through booking, from a hotel in St James's or anywhere else.